Archive for June, 2009
Fight the Trite
Originally published in New Escapologist
Happy Birthday to you, Thunk!
Happy Birthday to you, Thunk!
Happy Birthday dear Laaaaauraaaaaa, Thunk! Thunk!
I am in pain. It’s partially self-inflicted from bashing my head against the function room wall (balloons tacked into each corner, some hilariously arranged to resemble a cock and balls) and partly as a result of third-party cliché [...]
My next holiday will be in Hell and I’ll deserve it
“I’ve just got back from Transylvania!”
This was a lie. I had bought a new suitcase and now I was pulling it home. When a friend stops me to ask, “what’s with the luggage?”, I am unable able to resist concocting a flight of fancy.
“Yeah, Transylvania! It’s a beautiful town but you should see the bat [...]
In the brief gap between scale and polish
“Democracy just doesn’t work,” says my dental hygienist in the brief gap between scale and polish.
Today is the European Parliamentary Election. I had used this for chit-chat as I sank into the chair but now I was beginning to regret it. My hygienist is thoroughly disillusioned with our entire political system.
As if that isn’t enough [...]
All parched and wrinkled
At a party, I select from a plate of desserts a slice of fruit cake.
I offer some to a friend. “Oh, no thanks. I can’t stand dried fruit.”
“Makes you contemplate your own mortality?” I offer, “All parched and wrinkled, like one day we’ll all be?”
“No,” she says, “I just don’t like the texture. Chewy”.
On [...]
