Archive for January, 2010
Arsevoiced and scatterfashion
People sometimes ask me why I have such a stupid voice. “Why do you have such a stupid voice?” they ask. “Why, why, why, why, why?” It is not an unreasonable question. My voice sounds like two Mancunian butchers trying to hold a conversation while crossing a corrugated bridge on a tandem. “Yah, yah, yah,” [...]
Electric doors all over the universe
The guy with whom I share some office space often leaves his “silver bullet” pen behind. Apparently capable of writing both underwater and in outerspace, the bullet is a very silly and ostentatious piece of stationery, resembling a Cyberman suppository. Never having a pen myself, I inevitably make use of the silver bullet in Steve’s [...]
The froth of his Ruddles
From the very periphery of my vision, I saw someone sit down at the table next to mine. Reading a book, I was only dimly aware of his presence at first, but it soon occurred to me that the man was staring into the side of my head, like an off-duty phrenologist who doesn’t believe [...]
