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Ah, hello. Come on in. You just get those pesky trousers off, make yourself at home.

Despite being one of the world’s most indolent layabouts, I’ve managed to write seven books. Seven!

But you might know me as the voice of New Escapologist or from my column in the Idler.

Mainly, I write miscellaneous short pieces as any humorist should. 800 words and then home.

There’s a mailing list you can join for a very occasional newsletter. It’s the winning alternative to social media.

Why not have a poke around my website? I hope you like it. Just wipe your feet, were you born in a barn? Oh, you were? I beg your pardon.

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Current Doings

Melt It! The Book of the Iceman is being adapted for the silver screen!

I’m doing my first show in over a decade at the Glasgow Comedy Festival. Come along and throw things.

I wrote a novel called Rub-A-Dub-Dub and it won a prestigious Saltire Prize. Not for the contents, mind. Just for the cover. *wistful sigh*.

New Escapologist Issues 14 and 15 are out now and contain some landmark work from self and others.

For more current doings, see my now page.

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What the sages said

“Delightful and insightful” — Ben Moor

“Brilliant” — Mark Watson

“Superb” — Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph

“Excellent, brilliant, essential” — Stewart Lee

“Devilishly clever” — Arnold Brown

“The best prose writer I know” — Luke Rhinehart

“A literary gem” — Handelsblatt

“A terrific writer” — Arther Matthews

“Side-splitting” — British Comedy Guide