She Knows About These Things

Spite is an underappreciated energy resource. It’s infinitely renewable.

A final act of spite, I’ve been thinking, might be to leave my organs to a local dogs’ home.

My wife — she knows about these things — tells me that would not be legal.

Could I leave my body to a cannibal?

“No,” she says.

You can legally put these things in your will if you want to, but anyone acting on such a beautiful bequest would be face criminal prosecution.

“Only technically,” I protest.

“Only actually,” she says.

Back to the drawing board then. The drawing board of spite.

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