Diary

Big Butts

11 July 2019 | Diary

I’m out for a walk this afternoon when Samara texts me something about how we need more exercise. We’re putting on weight since I became a full-time writer again last year and Samara quit a physically-demanding job for something more desk-based.

I’m about to reply with “I like big butts and I cannot lie,” when something makes me stop. I realise that the person walking in front of me has a huge, entirely-likeable butt.

While this is firmly outside the boundaries of all reasonable likelihood, my catastrophising brain decides not to type this text message after all. It would be just my luck to drop the phone and for it to go skidding along the street only to be picked up by the big-butted pedestrian and for terrible, misunderstanding-based outrage to follow.

You other brothers can’t deny you’d have done the same.



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