“Dear employer. Robert Wringham cannot attend his job today because he is suffering from a bad case of Scrot Rot. Yours with gusto, Dr. Rhodri Hickinbottom”.

I am running a competition. Send me your sick notes – real or fabricated – to my email address or post them right here in the comments thread. All of the good ones will be printed in Issue 2 of New Escapologist in a feature about pulling a sicky.

“Dear Miss Anteater Hand. Little Robbie can’t come to school today because he’s suddenly become horribly aware of the atoms that make up his left arm. As you might imagine it has put him in a bit of tizzy. He won’t be back to school for six weeks.”

The three most inventive, clever or interesting ones will win a free copy of the magazine and an additional mystery prize.

“For the attention of Mr. Wringham’s employer. Mr. Wringham has fallen several fathoms off his rocker AND IT IS YOUR FAULT. Give him seven weeks off work on full pay and continue to provide his coffee and paperclips by mail. Yours, Dr. Aldus Rectangle”.

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