Tag: truman show

You come home from work and you turn the television on. Something’s wrong. Inspector Morse is on every single channel.

You thump the top of the set in a caveman bid to escape John Thaw’s stern face but your hand passes through the set with a sickening tear. The television set is made of paper!

The knobs and dials are paper, the remote control is paper, the set-top aerial is a triangle made from paper.

And that’s how you discover YOU’RE IN THE ARMANDO IANNUCCI SHOW. It’s 2001 again and you’ll have to come home the long way.

You’re on holiday in California, admiring the view at Big Sur, when you approach a local to ask for directions.

The man panics. “It’s no good!” he shrieks, looking around helplessly, “I can’t do it!” and then he leaps into the canyon.

Only the canyon’s not a canyon. The Californian passes through it with a sickening tear and runs on and on into an impossible white distance.

And that’s how you discover YOU’RE IN THE TRUMAN SHOW. It is Season 3 and the ratings are in the toilet.

You’re on a train. The man across the aisle is reading a book and he keeps smiling and occasionally snorts with laughter. It’s one of those times when someone is reading something funny and just can’t hold it in. Something is really tickling him.

The cover of the book is nondescript but you want to know what’s so funny, so you make as if you’re standing to stretch your legs and you walk around behind him and glance over his shoulder to try and catch a glimpse of the text. The book is blank.

That’s how you discover YOU’RE IN THE TRUMAN SHOW. It is Season 2 and the ratings are in the toilet.