We recently got new passports, which means it’s also time fors me to apply for a PRTD. A PRTD is a visa-like document to be fixed inside my passport so I can travel unhindered to Canada where I have resident status.
Why this is necessary I’ve never really understood. Why is it relevant that I’m a resident when I visit Canada? Why does my status as a resident nullify (instead of enhance) my pre-existing ability to visit the country as a tourist? I’m not trying to get away with anything and I’m not doing anything remotely wrong: I just want to visit my in-laws and cram some poutine into my horrible gob. Big deal.
The application process for a PRTD is nothing (nothing!) compared to slaloms of immigration officialdom we’ve wrangled though before, but it’s still irritating to have to do it.
They ask you to scan every page of your current passport, including blank pages. But they want to know your five-year travel history, so you have to scan your old passport as well. Given that a PRTD application is only necessary when you’ve been issued a new passport, this is a tad vexing. So we’re asked to scan every page of an expired passport (including the meaningless blank pages) and every page of a brand new passport (which consists entirely of blank pages).
I don’t mind humouring official systems if it helps them catch kingpins or terrorists, but sitting for two hours to scan the largely-blank pages of two passports for no conceivably good reason is not how I like to spend the precious sand in my lifeglass.
Next, I have to scan my wife’s new and old passports too. What joy! The whole process again. This, apparently, is to prove that I’m travelling with a Canadian citizen, which is the exemption allowing us to live in the UK without surrendering my hard won and expensive Canadian resident status. You’d think they’d just be able to look at a screen to know where on Earth one of their citizens might be and connect the dots, but apparently they need to see 120+ largely-blank pages of passport for that.
So we took care of this a couple of nights ago. It was a nuisance, but it was done and dusted.
Last night, an email arrived from Immigration Canada. I assumed it would be a receipt or perhaps the instructions on how to actually get the PRTD now that we’ve applied (which might involve mailing my passport somewhere, which wouldn’t be ideal because I’m flying to Utrecht next week). But no. It was a request to send “additional documents.”
The documents itemised in the email were not additional at all. They were asking for the passports again.
I suspect this was an AI system speaking rather than a human agent because the phrasing was a bit strange and the email had arrived very quickly by the standards of immigration authorities. Something had probably gone wrong and the AI hadn’t been able to identify that we’d sent passports, even though there were PDFs attached with the proper naming convention and everything. Bah.
Emphasis had been placed on “legibility” though, so I was worried that perhaps our scans weren’t high enough quality.
So I did the bloody things again.
Yes. I scanned every page (including every blank page) of all four passports again today. A doubly pointless waste of precious hourglass sand.
This time, I even scanned the front and back covers of the damn things. I can waste their time too, you know. And then I decided to also scan the pages of smallprint at the front and back of each passport — the print that says deeply ironic things like “Her Britannic Majesty’s Secretary of State requests and requires in the name of Her Majesty all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance.” Hah!
I wanted to increase the resolution on the scanner to generate higher-quality PDF files, but the application system wouldn’t like that. You can only upload files smaller than 2MB each and a total of 3.5MB for the whole application. This is a teeny-tiny pixel budget when when you need to upload 120+ pointless and largely-empty passport pages (in addition to other documents I haven’t mentioned here).
But maybe the legibility issue (if there even is one) has nothing to do with our scanner (which is a perfectly normal consumer-grade flatbed – and what else could they possibly expect of normal people scanning their own documents at home?) but with the stamps themselves. Border officials must get tired wrists from all the important stamping they have to do, and sometimes they leave a weak and only semi-readable stamp. Well, that’s hardly our fault.
Never fear. The AI (if indeed it’s an AI) recommends uploading “entry or exit documents where passport stamps are illegible.” Which would be a sterling suggestion if there was any such fucking thing. Nobody gets an “entry or exit document” when they go on holiday. And imagine if there is such a thing: waiting at the border like a spod, holding the line up by insisting on being given a document instead of a stamp, just in case an AI (which didn’t exist five years ago — the period they’re interested in hearing about) ever requests such a thing.
You can’t call anyone to ask for clarity and the FAQ pages only tell us what we already know. So I have no idea if any of this effort — the empty-page-by-empty-page scanning of eight passports — has worked.
When I went through the process recommended by the AI to upload my “additional” documents, it asked me to enter “ONLY 1 of these 3 details: UCI number, application number, passport number.” Unfortunately, the UCI and application number fields are marked with mandatory red asterisks and there’s no field for passport number at all, so the instruction is 100% meaningless. Immigration forms are full of riddles and incompetencies like that one. I’m not being a smart alec: these apparently very-officious forms produced by the world’s biggest and most powerful national bureaucracies are full of amateurish grot like that.
Even when this process works (which it never does on the first time), it’s pointless anyway. Remember that tourists can come and go as they please, so why do I need a PRTD at all? And why isn’t there a global information retrieval system with which border guards can see the whole story of who I am on scanning my passport without any further application from me? And if we must apply for a PRTD, why are they interested in seeing so many blank passport pages? And why did I have to do it all twice?
I’ve been thinking lately about all of this. If I had my time over, I wouldn’t bother humouring the system at all. Unless you want a proper career overseas, I’d honestly suggest you don’t bother with visas or citizenship or residency status. Just go where you like as a “tourist,” work remotely for firms in your home country (or illegally in your new country if you’re bold), and when your six months have expired just go on holiday somewhere over the border (it would have been New York for me) and then come back for another six months when you’re ready. The visa hop.
Seriously, it’s all been largely pointless. My residency status in Canada allowed me to work for a year in a library there (which, frankly, I didn’t really want to do) and allowed me not to stress about visa hops (which, if approached the right way, would have been fun anyway).
If this passport-scanning episode seems absurd to you, you don’t know the half of it. You don’t know one thirtieth of it. The mountain of moose and thoroughbred horse crap we’ve tunnelled through over the years to satisfy the Canadian, Quebecois, and British governments at various junctures has been nothing shy of gargantuan.
Don’t bother. That’s my genuine suggestion to others. Just do the visa hop and get on with your life.
☕
20 minutes later:
My phone just buzzed. It was them. Immigration Canada. It gave me the fright of my life. I thought their sentinels had found this post already and they were thwacking my delicate knuckles for complaining about their systems and recommending the visa hop.
It was just a receipt for the “additional” documents. Interestingly, they didn’t send a receipt the first time. It says that “for technical reasons,” the additional documents may not be visible in my online account but not to worry, and also that I should try the “check your application status” tool at the website. I have a look at it but there’s no PRTD option in the menu.
Jesus. Buy me a coffee, someone.