I, Monster

Exciting news. I don’t usually follow gossip but on rare occasions it involves me and consequently takes on a whole new level of interest.

A friend tells a friend of a friend that she is “intimidated” by my “intelligence and wit”.

The Plain People of Cyberspace: “Clearly she hasn’t read your blog then”.

That’s enough out of you.

I ask if other people fear my superpowers. “You can be very standoffish,” says one commentator. “I sometimes think you might inhale me,” declares another.

Two friends say they invite me to dinner parties when they think one of the other guests has an argument in need of an atomizing.

At last I have become the monster my mother always wanted.

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