Diary

Poontang

03 September 2019 | Diary

I spend too much of the day following news of the Benn Bill, the most powerful weapon at the moment in the arsenal against you-know-what.

Rolling news always leaves me feeling slightly demented and incapable of doing anything like work, so I cut my losses and go to the cinema for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood:

Pussycat: Obviously, I’m not too young to fuck you. But obviously, you are too old to fuck me.

Cliff Booth: What I’m too old to do is go to jail for poontang. Prison’s trying to get me all my life, they ain’t got me yet. The day it does, it won’t be because of you. No offence.

I mean who talks like that? Poontang. No offence. I sort of love it.

When I return to the news, Caroline Lucas has lambasted Jacob Rees Mogg for lying around on the benches like a Lothario. She never misses a chance to fight evil and she really shows him up. I hope one day to see her drag him by the ear out of the House where the protesters can tear him limb from limb. Actually, that might be the Tarantino talking.



3 responses to “Poontang”

  1. neilscott says:

    Hmmm, cinema, a likely story. I note how I’ve never seen you or Mogg in the same place.

    • Robert Wringham says:

      Hahaha. I know. I’ve considered ditching my trade-mark glasses for that very reason. First UKIP came for the tweed-wearers…

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