First Rule

28 August 2019 | Diary

All of the low-use fabric items in our home (bed linens, winter clothes) are neatly stacked and stored in vacuum-sealed bags, which always amuses any friends who happen to notice. They think I’m an anal-retentive madman. While I’d be lying if I said the zip-locked order doesn’t appeal to that side of me, it’s really […]

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The Survivor

19 August 2019 | Diary

As I opened my umbrella this morning, a moth flew out of it.

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Snob Moths

18 August 2019 | Diary

My trousers, dear diary, have fallen. To moths I mean. And not just any trousers. These were the long-loved, Italian wool Cad & The Dandy trousers. They were something of a souvenir of the days when I could afford such things. I’d had them for over ten years and I’d been planning to pass them […]

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Hi, Moths!

31 July 2019 | Diary

Coming in from a walk, I say “Hi Darling!” and then, “Hi Moths!” Apparently, a large moth once flew into Judy Garland’s mouth while she was singing “Over the Rainbow,” on stage in Los Angeles. She couldn’t just gob it out like a midfielder in the middle of a show, so she popped it into […]

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Moth Florida

29 July 2019 | Diary

I like to think we’ve become dab hands at murdering the moths that encroach upon our expensively-rented-but-decidedly-modest flat. We have all manner of trap and deterrent about the place. We’re also swift at smiting them the old-fashioned way when they’re not wearing their invisibility cloaks. This morning, however, I spotted a moth in the base […]

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16 July 2019 | Diary

AJ from New York is staying over. Kicked back on the chaise this evening, he suddenly sits bolt upright. A moth has landed on his eye. I don’t say this at the time, but I actually saw the moth en-route. It came up from a gap in the the floorboards and went straight for his […]

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13 July 2019 | Diary

Cooking together in the kitchen, we’re surprised when a clothes moth appears seemingly out of nowhere. We do not dwell on what the little bleeder is doing in the kitchen. The moth scourge is known to all who live in old Glasgow houses and, while they’re easy to smite when you catch them in repose, […]

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