Diary

Actual Brexit Nightmare

13 October 2018 | Diary

After today’s entry, I’m taking a break from the diary for a few months. Deadline looming, my new book needs to take priority for a while. Exciting! Unless the mood strikes and I simply must recount something in an act of feverish bloggery, I will see you all again in February. Thank you for following […]

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The Ticket Barrier

06 October 2018 | Diary

At one of the train stations I regularly use, there are four automated ticket barriers. I tend to use the barrier on the left (let’s go wild and call it Automated Ticket Barrier 1) simply because it’s the first one you come to when you walk onto the concourse. I suspect that almost everyone uses […]

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The Red Kidney Beans

29 September 2018 | Diary

I spent most of today walking around with a can of red kidney beans. They’re sitting on the desk as I write this. This came to pass because I’d known since last night that I’d be making a vegan chili for dinner this evening but that I was lacking one all-important ingredient. Yes. The red […]

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Where Books Go

15 September 2018 | Diary

Friend Matt emails to say that he found (and seemingly bought) a copy of my book, A Loose Egg, in a Welsh charity shop. I have decided to take this as an indicator that I have finally made it as a writer. A pessimist such as yourself, madam, might point out that my book must […]

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Exact Change

01 September 2018 | Diary

For a long time now, the bus has been my absolute last choice of transport. Before resorting to a bus, I’ll find a complex way of getting there by multiple rail connections or else I’ll walk for miles and miles in impractical shoes. Anything but the bus. This week though, I had a tricky journey […]

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Post-it Note King Tut Beard (Pass it On)

18 August 2018 | Diary

At a co-working space this week, I found myself sitting on the end of a row of desks in a pod of eight. I don’t usually like a co-working space but for various, complex reasons I was in one now, blearily squinting in the fluorescent light and wondering what happens next. Someone get me an […]

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Collapsible Podium

28 July 2018 | Diary

This morning I found myself looking through the Fringe Programme for shows to watch this year without being sick. Many of this year’s acts look too young to be out on their own let alone performing professionally. They don’t look ready. It gave me a chill to consider how I’d have handled the stress of […]

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It’s Picasso!

21 July 2018 | Diary

Everyone loves to spot a celebrity in the wild. Until a couple of weeks ago, my top three celebrity sightings were probably: 3. Scroobius Pip buying a twix, 2. JK Rowling cutting a queue, 1. Peter Davidson doing a wee in the next urinal along. I’ve also seen Walter Koenig using a payphone, but that […]

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On a Bridge

07 July 2018 | Diary

Once, when Spencer was telling me about his burgeoning fear of flying, he said “the plane could flip upside down.” “Yes,” I said, still chewing, “it could flip upside down a lot.” Spencer went pale. It had never occurred to the sweet summer child that the plane might actually corkscrew should the pilots lose control. […]

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Dave the Coconut / Samara’s Story

30 June 2018 | Diary

Two weeks ago Samara and I were in Spain and Gibraltar for a holiday. I was going to write about it in the diary today but I can’t be arsed because although it was a wonderful time I just spent half a day captioning the photographs and now I think I’ll go mad if I […]

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