Thom Tuck Goes Straight to DVD

Originally published at The British Comedy Guide

Walt Disney’s Lion King 3, Thom Tuck explains, is a straight-to-video ‘parallelquel’ alternately known as Lion King 1½. That is, it’s a non-cinematic entry into the Lion King movie franchise, the events of which, unlike those of a sequel or a prequel, take place alongside the timeline of the original. Got it? To make matters even more confusing for the film’s presumably pre-teen intended audience, there is a fourth-wall-breaking storyline in which Lion King characters watch The Lion King in a cinema and are eventually joined by Mickey Mouse, Snow White and a parade of other popular characters in a universe-crossing meltdown of all natural laws.

I listen to Thom’s review with slack-jawed incredulity. How can a production from a studio as prestigious as Disney be so staggeringly and weirdly bad? I struggle to believe it and vow to check Wikipedia for verification. But, of course, it is all too real, and so are the other fifty-three cash-in productions covered by Thom in the show. Like a comedy Joseph Smith, it is very much to his credit that he discovered this plethora of non-canonical oddness and saw fit to bring it along for analysis.

These reports from the strange world of the Disney spin-off are tremendously entertaining, especially when performed with such cartoonish charisma, but there’s an unfortunate expectation that we have intimate knowledge of the more iconic Disney films. There’s even a Little Mermaid singalong, to which I think we’re genuinely expected to know the lyrics. To be fair, the show’s marketing has attracted a number of Disney fans to the room but many of us (including a woman lambasted for not knowing what The Return of Jafar might be) are left a little alienated.

The Disney analysis is complemented by seemingly real stories from Thom’s past, each about how a girl “broke his heart”. The two narrative strands dovetail nicely without explicitly crossing over and so form a nicely opaque storytelling device. Unfortunately, his romantic gestures leave us a tad cold: we would gladly have been entertained by his neediness if he’d demonstrated more awareness of it, but it appears we’re supposed to sympathise. Through this miscalculation, these sections end up feeling a bit creepy.

An excellent one-man show, albeit compromised by the unnecessary opening of a romantic Ark of the Covenant. Instead, I could have stood to hear more about the parallelquel world of Tarzan II, which apparently takes place not just alongside the original movie but inside one of its songs: an extraordinarily clever thing to drag into the comedy arena.

Markus Birdman: Dreaming

Originally published at The British Comedy Guide

It is an almost exclusively female crowd at Markus Birdman‘s penultimate Fringe 2011 performance. Most of the room has been booked by a single hen party and they are in high spirits. As we file into the venue, their ringleader says something about “hiding the weed”, and the ticket collector sighs the sigh of a man getting ready to bounce his one-hundredth drunk of the month. But the Festival is almost over and we can all go home soon.

Fortunately, the tipsy audience and the arse-end-of-the-fringe-effect are not problems for Rockabilly dad Markus Birdman, who is an extraordinarily likable and energetic performer. Something that sets him apart from many other comics is that his act is not built on vitriol but on a kind of spiritual generosity. He’s willing to let things go. Even when he talks about existential disappointments or feigns frustration with his mid-life lot, he doesn’t seem particularly bitter. It is refreshing to spend time in the company of an act who is neither fizzingly excited about an issue or on a mission to set everything right. He discusses various sources of urban dissatisfaction, but it doesn’t seem to compromise the gleeful pleasure he takes in so many of the world’s good things.

Structurally, the show is a tad wonky. I’m not sure whether the kernel is supposed to be a personal life reassessment after his fortieth birthday and coincident life-threatening stroke or whether it was a lecture about following your dreams. Did one inform the other? I wasn’t sure. This doesn’t particularly matter: the show is less of a concept album than a gentle romp through the events that have characterised Birdman’s year.

Particularly pleasing is a routine about how he mistook his stroke for a hangover. He says there is something wrong about our British urban lifestyle when waking up partially-sighted is conceivably the result of a night on the piss. Tonight’s swigged-up audience are evidence of this problem, contributing non-sequiturs and making weird remarks, but Markus handles the squiffy women with a gentlemanly charm and ease.

Each chapter of the show is introduced by a pre-recorded jingle, each of which is low-fi and clownish and very funny. An impressive outing for the Birdman.

Asher Treleaven: Matador

Originally published at The British Comedy Guide

Clown Prince Asher Treleaven doesn’t like racism. But, ever the pedant, what really angers him is inaccurate racism. When someone wishes him luck “eating dog meat and hanging out with Chinks” in Vietnam, Asher is too shocked and afraid of confrontation to point out that the correct slur is actually “Gooks”. There’s little worse in life than erroneous bigotry.

This is why Asher created The Matador: a superhero capable of challenging surprise encounters with racists. Alas, The Matador’s faux-Spanish accent and impressively bulging crotch implicate the character as a stereotype, signalling that even the most well-meaning of us can be, unexpectedly, a tiny bit racist.

Asher is the ambassador of a delightfully homemade world. His circus-schooled prancing and precision preening takes place on a set made from greengrocer grass, plastic roses, a garden gnome and a lawn flamingo. In a story about being lost in the Vietnamese jungle while wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks, he reports that scooching along the floor of such a jungle results in “crud and ants and biscuit crumbs” being collected in the trunks. Somehow, it is perfectly reasonable to expect biscuit crumbs on the jungle floor of Asher’s mind.

For all his lampooning of traditional comedy stylings (“Hey shit head. Hey dick leg. Where do you work? Fuckin’ shit place?” he says to nobody in particular on the front row) he is a surprising dab-hand with observational comedy. He points out in a very throwaway fashion that sheep have human teeth. If you think about it, sheep really do have human teeth. But how did he notice that? And how do we recognise it?

Perhaps the show’s stand-out set-piece is a song about rednecks to the famous show tune, My Favourite Things. Not only is the unexpected musical number a comprehensively-researched list of slurs, it is a fairly breathtaking feat of memory.

Matador tackles the important issues of racism and tolerance head-on, but surrounds them entertainingly with a surreal hedge maze of playful stories and one-liners. A well-handled and enjoyable fourth solo show.

Josie Long: The Future is Another Place

Originally published at The British Comedy Guide

For a few years, hand-knitted Josie Long has been tickling our fancies with her brand of fluttery whimsy. Today’s audience of hipsters and their mums perch upon their seat edges in delighted anticipation as Josie coasts through an unusual live pre-set: an ad-libbed commentary on the progress of the pre-set itself and a “sodcast” of naff hip-hop music played through a phone. It is disorientating good fun to enter a show on time but for the performance to have already begun.

For this year’s show, Josie weaves sincere political discourse into the fancy. The Future is Another Place is about her ongoing attempt to engage with politics, especially left-wing activism, and what this means to her as a comedian. She worries that her new-found political rage has compromised her style as a stand-up, but there’s nothing trite about her anger and it adds an interesting edge to an otherwise optimistic persona. It feels like watching a bright-eyed Richard Scarry character chance across a rusting machine from a forgotten war.

Her time spent investigating Tory policy, she tells us, was a waste of time. “I used to think that the Tories were cunts,” she says, and her research only confirmed her suspicions. “Why are you cutting funding to the libraries? Isn’t that just about children reading?!”

She reports on her experiences at UK Uncut protests; on her anger at the coalition government’s ongoing attempts to destroy all that is decent and reasonable (“Don’t take away children’s wheelchairs! That’s like what a Bond villain would do!”); and on her inspiring correspondence with one of the Black Panthers. She fondly quotes a Black Panther press conference: “We say to pigs: Daddy, we will not be held to ransom. The people’s law is lovelier than lovely”.

Perhaps the most memorable segment, however, is not political at all, but a startling account of her near-death motorway accident earlier in the year. The accident involved logs falling from the back of a moving lorry and an off-road skid through an old woman’s greenhouse. That she’s able to wring humour and useful narrative out of such a harrowing personal event is testament to her skills as a performer. When she later notices that her shoes have come off and the police officers aren’t talking to her, she worries that it’s a Sixth Sense-style ghost bluff: “This is classic dead-and-don’t-realise-it”, she says.

Charming, life-affirming and frequently devastating, Josie’s new show is essential Fringe viewing.

Simon Munnery: Hats Off to the 101ers (And Other Material)

Originally published at The British Comedy Guide

“Jesus!” gasps the woman sitting next to me as Simon Munnery‘s home-made canopy-like structure leans perilously toward the audience. It is all perfectly safe, of course, and Munnery points out that his expensive insurance policy means he can take out five of us and still have change. It’s all going to be fine.

There’s a frisson in the room as Munnery begins his performance not on stage but behind us, strumming an electric guitar and singing about the 101ers: the ambitious but doomed crew of a 1929 experimental airship. The titular segment doesn’t last long, but it’s a riotous start to the show.

Next, Simon erects the above-mentioned canopy over the stage. Seemingly made of kitchen wine racks, the whole thing concertinas spectacularly over and around him. At first, it seems impressively erected with a simple motion; but then there’s some fumbling and muttering as Simon tries to attach the safety guy-wire to the ceiling. The canopy flops around and, for a while, we’re all genuinely unsure if it’s going to collapse into our astonished faces. After being teased by the theatrical prospect of a pop-up set, this engineered anticlimax is hilarious and a perfect view into Simon’s messy but beautiful mind. “It took months to make,” he says, “Now I’ve just got to figure out what it’s for”.

The rest of the show is a boneshaker ride through some of Simon’s best recent work: a seedy lecture from a seemingly unaccredited and misogynistic professor of women’s studies is a standout moment; and a puppet show about Jesus’ neighbours at the Crucifixion is truly an evergreen.

The entire is a patchwork of eccentric ideas, flights of fancy, and bogglingly brilliant aphorisms. There are funny props including another of his trademark mechanical hats, though he’s anything but a prop comic: while wearing the outlandish topper, he delivers one-liners and short stories that leave you in puzzled awe over the train of thought that could possibly have lead to them. “My dad is a speaking edition of the Daily Mail. Only extracts though, or we’d rent him out to the blind.”

Beautiful, ramshackle and odd, Munnery’s new show is a chance window into a rare mind. Go along to see the best of a performer at the top of his game and learn what rhymes with “zeppelins”.

Psychic air traffic control for flies

It’s been a while since I wrote in my diary, dear reader, but I’ve been thoroughly occupied with my new hobby: psychic air traffic control for flies.

When a fly comes in through the window, I use my mind to take control of him. Nothing malicious. I simply extend my mind out to catch the fly and whiz him around the room a couple of times before slingshotting him safely out of the window.

Sometimes, if it strikes me to do so, I take him right up to the window but just before letting him leave, I’ll whiz him back into the room at an unpredictably bizarre angle, give him a lap of the bathroom or something and finally pop him out into the garden.

Sometimes I might make him pause on the skin of an apple. Sometimes on the toe of my slippers. Other times, I might let him rest upon the spine of a book about Norman Lamont. But every time, I make sure he leaves unharmed through the window.

I do not mean to suggest that bluebottles or other airborne creatures – gnats or bumble bees, for instance – need an air traffic control system. I do not maintain pretensions of public service or anything like that. Our winged pals are capable of flying around in the garden with minimal assistance and their flight paths do not impact upon the correct rotation of the Earth. It is just a little hobby I have. It is a way to idly pass the hours while exercising the psychic parts of my brain.

“He’s gone bananas,” you’re thinking. But don’t worry. What I do isn’t telekinesis or anything like that. Hahaha. The very thought. What I do is more like persuasion.

The bluebottle comes in through the window. I put my book to one side, get inside his mind and when he takes an unpredictable turn, I know it is through my subtle, psychic gestures that he does so.

When I return to my own mind, all is as normal. Except that I sometimes have a craving for some turds.

At the end of our little dance, the bluebottle is returned to the garden none the wiser.

I do wonder though, if somewhere down the line, the bluebottle will wake in the dead of night after a repressed memory dream. He will have a hankering for cheese on toast, the sweet memory of holding hands with Hannah Fellows near the teeter-tots in the school playground, and the vague recollection that he may once have missed the 18:26 train to Luton after falling asleep in the station.

And then he’ll go buzzing off into the world, to fill a discarded dog turd with thousands of tiny eggs, each egg spawning a tiny baby bluebottle WITH THE FACE OF YOUR HUMBLE NARRATOR.

🪰

If you enjoyed this story, (a) shame on you, and (b) please consider buying my books A Loose Egg and Stern Plastic Owl for countless other flights of fancy.

It’s a Wringham & Godsil Edinburgh Festival show.

Here it is! The inevitable live version of The Wringham & Godsil Podcast: part of Peter Buckley Hill’s much celebrated Free Fringe.

We’re doing FOUR live podcast recordings, on 24, 25, 26 and 27 August 2011.

The name of the show? We’ve gone with THE WRINGHAM & GODSIL PODCAST LIVE! to keep things simple. Here are some of the show titles we rejected:

– Aaaaaargh! It’s a Wringham & Godsil Edinburgh Festival show.
– Quick, Hide, It’s Wringham & Godsil.
– The two faces of Wringham & Godsil.
– Ben Elton Presents: Wringham & Godsil.
– Wringham & Godsil get the munchies.
– The Isambard Kingdom Brunel Story.

It’ll be the usual shambles, but presented in front of a live audience and moved along with the assistance of a pomodoro tomato timer. There will also be celebrity guests, some audience-inspired japery, and a sneak-beak of Rob’s future show Penguin Joke. As a wise man almost certainly once said, “Come!”

Wringham & Godsil Podcast 29

Episode 29, “R is for Ripping”, is online now!

This time, we podcast from a mini cooper parked outside Dan’s house in Shropshire. Among other things, we discuss what Jack the Ripper might use for pillow cases; weigh up the merits of invisibility and flight; and consider how Beyonce Knowles ascertains whether things are Bootilicious or not. Deceased turkey farmer Bernard Matthews, of course, is not Bootilicious: he’s merely Bootiful.

Upon learning that some listeners use our podcast as an alarm clock, we also provide a helpful “Wake up!” soundbite for precisely this function.

New Escapologist Issue Five launch event

That there’s a New Escapologist gathering in Glasgow on 10th May 2011. If you fancy coming along, we’ll be at The Arches (beneath Central Station) between 6pm and 9pm.

>Facebook event page.

>Event page at The Arches.

All are welcome. Bring friends. Meet the creative team behind the magazine, mingle with other readers and buy a copy of the mag. Free entry, naturally.

“Foppish, irresponsible, and very needed” – Pat Kane, ThoughtLand

“Excellent publications which deserve a wide readership” – Tom Hodgkinson, The Idler

New Escapologist Issue Five available now

Issue Five of New Escapologist is out now! My journalistic contributions include an interview with Alain de Botton, an account of my time living in a Glaswegian attic, and a new editorial called ‘Behind the scenes of New Escapologist’.

Also in this issue are Dickon Edwards on bedsits and Quentin Crisp; Tom Mellors on Bohemian love; and Reggie C. King on Erik Satie. Loads more too. Probably our best (and certainly fullest) issue to date.

Purchase your copy at the NE shop today.

Poly Styrene

Originally published at Verbicide

Legendary punk front woman Poly Styrene has cancer and is reportedly too weak for chemotherapy. Three months after diagnosis, however, she is promoting her new studio album, Generation Indigo, from a hospital bed while nurses administer a miracle drug called Herceptin. It is from this bed in a British coastal town (very near to Hastings pier, where she first saw the Sex Pistols perform and famously said, “I could do that”) that Ms. Styrene grants us a short but upbeat interview.

Alongside Laura Logic, Poly Styrene came to popular consciousness while fronting the iconic punk rock band X-Ray Spex. The only criticism that can be leveled upon this amazing group (important in the history of New Wave as well as pure punk) is that they didn’t produce enough work. Two archetypal studio albums and two live recordings have left fans desperate for more. Parallel to her work with the Spex, Poly has enjoyed a solo career, starting in 1980 with her album Translucence. Putting aside the heavy and grubby punk guitar of the Spex, her solo work tends to be gentler, jazzy, and inspired by her spiritual outlook — Poly was initiated into the Hare Krishna movement in 1983 and lived as a devotee in their temple for several years.

The latest installment to the Styrene canon is Generation Indigo and its first single, “Virtual Boyfriend.” “I just wanted to do something that was very current and that was about modern relationships,” Poly tells me in regards to the single. “There wasn’t a lot of thought. It channeled through me and just happened.” The narrative of the new single concerns technology and our relationship to it: “Human contact is necessary, and we need to be careful we don’t lose this and its importance.”

The new album is produced by Martin Glover, perhaps most famous as “Youth” from post-punk kings, Killing Joke. “It was a pleasant experience [working with him] and we got on. He works pretty fast and so do I, so the pace was familiar.” Poly Styrene is often cited as the original feminist punk icon. What are the challenges for feminism today?

“I don’t think there are any challenges anymore. Just the over-sexualization of women, but that’s quite small in reality. I’m in a hospital at the moment and all the nurses are women and they’re lovely. In the media they’re portrayed in a different way, but just like the nurses I’m talking about, the majority of women are out there being themselves. Women are quite caring and nurturing and that’s good. If that’s feminism then there should be more of it.”

I ask the question to which we’re all nonchalantly hoping for an affirmative. Will there be a future excursion for the X-Ray Spex or perhaps a release of older, unheard material? “I’m not sure at the moment, as I’m concentrating on this album and also on getting better. There are some early recordings that haven’t been out there yet… maybe one day in the future it will be released.”

I think Verbicide speaks on behalf of all the fans when we wish Poly a speedy recovery.

Published
Categorised as Interviews

Wringham & Godsil Podcast 28

Episode 28 is online now! This time we podcast live from a motorway service station in the North of England.

Rob has sushi. Dan has fajitas. The hand-held recording device has some 69p zinc-based batteries. We’re ready to go!

From Dan’s car, we discuss public toilet politics; Dan’s misinterpretation of the Jesus resurrection story; promote a new kidney stone-giving soft drink; prematurely leak news of our possible Edinburgh Fringe show; and Rob reminisces about the time he rode upon the ant from Honey I shrunk the Kids.

This episode also features the introduction of our new catchphrase, “You can’t throw that away. It’s a piece of foam”. This will soon be chanted ad-nauseum by school children and office workers across the world.

Wringham & Godsil Podcast: Series 2

Our rambling, shambling, deliciously-dangling podcast makes a triumphant return with Episode 27: “A is for Beginnings”.

This slice of podcast pie is also known as “Series 2, Episode 1”. Yes, we’ve decided to complicate the future of our once-simple numbering scheme. Needless to say, we anticipate a tsunami of frustrated fan backlash.

But wait! In addition to the main podcast, we also recorded TWO pre-podcast chats. The first (26a) takes place in my mum’s house; and the second (26b) is a Robert Llewellyn-style mini-podcast recorded in Dan’s car en-route to the studio. Never has so much W&G been unleashed on a single day; probably with good reason.

As usual, the main episode is available at the above link and on iTunes. The bonus easter eggs, however, are only available at the above links.

Series 2 will continue in earnest on Sunday 27th March. Enjoy!

Status Anxiety and Bohemia: Alain de Botton

This is a very short excerpt from my interview with Alain de Botton. The interview can be read in its entirety in Issue Five of New Escapologist.

Employment often seems at odds with the happiness and internal values of the individual. Must it always be this way?

There are broadly speaking two philosophies of work out there. The first you could call the working-class view of work, which sees the point of work as being primarily financial. You work to feed yourself and your loved ones. You don’t live for your work. You work for the sake of the weekend and spare time – and your colleagues are not your friends necessarily. The other view of work, very different, is the middle class view, which sees work as absolutely essential to a fulfilled life and lying at the heart of our self-creation and self-fulfilment. These two philosophies always co-exist but in a recession, the working class view is getting a new lease of life. More and more one hears the refrain, ‘it’s not perfect, but at least it’s a job…’

The strangest thing about the world of work isn’t the long hours we put in or the fancy machines we use to get it done; take a step back and perhaps the most extraordinary aspect of the work scene is in the end psychological rather than economic or industrial. It has to do with our attitudes to work, more specifically the widespread expectation that our work should make us happy, that it should be at the centre of our lives and our expectations of fulfilment. The first question we tend to ask of new acquaintances is not where they come from or who their parents were, but what they do. Here is the key to someone’s identity and esteem. It seems hard to imagine being able to feel good about yourself or knowing who you were without having work to get on with.

It wasn’t always like this. For thousands of years, work was viewed as an unavoidable drudge and nothing more, something to be done with as rapidly as possible and escaped in the imagination through alcohol or religious intoxication. Aristotle was only the first of many philosophers to state that no one could be both free and obliged to earn a living. Holding down a job, any job, was akin to slavery and denied one any chance of greatness. Christianity added to this analysis the yet grimmer conclusion that the misery of work was an unavoidable consequence of the sins of Adam and Eve. The idea that work could be fun, as opposed to simply useful and necessary, had to wait until the Renaissance to get any traction. It was then, in contemporary biographies of geniuses like Raphael or Leonardo da Vinci, that one gets the first glimmers of the idea that doing extraordinary work might be better than lying around as an idle aristocrat, indeed, that work might be the highest of blessings. A more optimistic assessment of work as a whole had to wait until the eighteenth century, the age of the great bourgeois philosophers, men like Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Denis Diderot, who for the first time argued that one’s working life could be at the centre of any ambition for happiness. It was during this century that our modern ideas about work were formed – incidentally, at the very same time as our modern ideas about love and marriage took shape.

In fact, there were remarkable similarities between the two realms of love and work. In the pre-modern age, it had widely been assumed that no one could try to be in love and married: marriage was something one did for purely commercial reasons, to hand down the family farm or ensure a dynastic continuity. Things were going well if you maintained a tepid friendship with your spouse. Meanwhile, love was something you did with your mistress, on the side, with pleasure untied to the responsibilities of child-rearing. Yet the new philosophers of love now argued that one might actually aim to marry the person one was in love with rather than just have an affair. To this unusual idea was added the even more peculiar notion that one might work both for money and to realise one’s dreams, an idea that replaced the previous assumption that the day job took care of the rent and anything more ambitious had to happen in one’s spare time, once the money had been hauled in.

We are the heirs of these two very ambitious beliefs: that you can be in love and married ­- and in a job and having a good time. It has become as impossible for us to think that you could be out of work and happy as it had once seemed impossible for Aristotle to think that you could be employed and human.

Published
Categorised as Interviews

9th March-25th May 2011: Robert Wringham and the Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum

As a piece of performance art, I am making myself available to the public, every Wednesday noontime for the next three months.

As if at the whim of a chrono-synclastic infundibulum, I will appear at Glasgow’s Kibble Palace between 12:00 and 13:00 every Wednesday until the end of May.

You’ll find me sitting near the statue of “King Robert and his Monkey” (pictured above).

According to the plaque at the foot of the statue, “[Robert] was an arrogant king who was deposed by an angel, stripped of his robes, and forced to assume the role of a jester, with only a monkey for a friend.”

Come and meet me. The words “Hello, Robert” will activate me and, I’ll do one of three things:

1. I’ll casually talk with you until 13:00 (or until you leave);

2. I’ll read a single random passage from Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner by James Hogg (the book from which I take my name);

3. I’ll tell you a short anecdote about my monkey, whose name is Daniel Godsil;

4. I’ll walk you around the main circle of the Kibble Palace, telling a made-up lie about the history of each statue.

I’ll also have copies of New Escapologist with me if you’d like to buy one.

This supernatural occurrence is unsanctioned, and has nothing to do with Glasgow Botanic Gardens or Glasgow City Council. Tell your friends.

9th February 2011: It’s all talk with Asaf Gerchak

On February 9th, I’ll be one of three guests at Asaf Gerchak’s new on-stage talk show, It’s All Talk.

The gig is held at Montreal’s most satisfying microbrew, Brutopia. Come along if you’re in the area or hop on a plane if you’re not. It’ll be ace.

Not sure what Asaf and I will talk about yet (it’s improvised, you silly goose), but we’ll probably cover New Escapologist and Alphabites and non-self-promotional avenues too. If a reading is demanded, I’ll probably do psychic air traffic control for flies. Boogle!

Wringham & Godsil’s Alphabites

I co-produce an improvised podcast with my friend, Mr. Daniel James Godsil. It’s a pretty shambolic affair and almost certainly our Derek-and-Clive moment. It’s probably not suitable for the faint-hearted or easily offended.

Rob is aloof and likes jazz. Dan is friendly and likes pineapples. Together they are Wringham & Godsil, best of friends, worst of enemies, and presenters of the Alphabites podcast.

Recorded live at Dan’s studio in Dudley, England (and later in a specially-constucted podcast igloo in Montreal, Québec), the ongoing series is available to download via iTunes or via the direct download links below.

Wringham & Godsil’s Alphabites: Series 2

Episode 27: A is for Beginnings
Episode 28: M is for Motorway
Episode 29: R is for Ripping

Wringham & Godsil’s Alphabites: Complete Series 1

Episode 1: G is for Ghosts
Episode 2: P is for Paperclips
Episode 3: M is for Money
Episode 4: L is for Local
Episode 5: T is for Trailer
Episode 6: E is for Etterick
Episode 7: F is for Fish
Episode 8: D is for Derek
Episode 9: H is for Halfords
Episode 10: X is for Ten
Episode 11: S is for Science
Episode 12: N is for Neige
Episode 13: C is for Crisps
Episode 14: B is for Bagel
Episode 15: I is for Imran the Inuit
Episode 16: A is for Adam
Episode 17: K is for Kilroy’s Ilk
Episode 18: O is for Oreos
Episode 19: U is for Urinal Fly
Episode 20: W is for Warm and Wobbly
Episode 21: J is for Jacko
Episode 22: Y is for Yes, it’s a pumpkin!
Episode 23: R is for the Robert Wringham Show
Episode 24: V is for Vegetarian
Episode 25: Q is for Quint (Halloween Special)
Episode 26: Z is for Honesty, Honestly

If you enjoy our audio drivel, express your appreciation by joining our Facebook army.

Published
Categorised as Podcast

5th February 2011: Confabulation

On February 5th, I’ll be doing a stint at Matt Goldberg’s storytelling night, Confabulation. It’s at a venue called Shaika in Montreal and is sure to be a hoot.

The theme of this month’s performance is ‘neighbourhoods’ so I’ll be squirting out some anecdotal curds about Dudley, England.

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris

Originally published at Verbicide

Following in the footsteps of Me Talk Pretty One Day and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, the latest addition to the David Sedaris library has hallmarks of his classics: the dysfunctional family values, the well-observed minutiae of human behaviour. Unlike in his classic tomes, however, the characters of this book aren’t human.

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk is a collection of animal fables, absurd enough to remind you of Edward Lear and wise enough to evoke Aesop, especially when they have titles like “The Vigilant Rabbit” and “The Sick Rat and the Healthy Rat.” Where Aesop’s fables are cautionary or moral, those of Sedaris are rich comedic performances: satires of common human behaviour and rituals. He documents a slice of life in which mothers and fathers trade parenting tips in the schoolyard, but puts a spin on it by making those parents into chattering storks. He writes an hilarious dialogue between a housewife and her stylist, but the two women are actually a cat and a baboon. There’s something very pleasing about a society in which the skills and traits of a baboon will guarantee a career in the beauty industry.

There’s a certain kind of misanthropy in the stories and a whiff of nihilism: for all our pretenses as humans, are we not really a hoard of pooping, gossiping, socially-awkward, baby-producing animals? Like so many Richard Scarry characters, we are a mammalian society of naively evolved carbon-heads, muddling along and doing what we can. It’s not until you embed the common behaviors observed by Sedaris into his feathered and furry characters (sweetly illustrated by Ian Faulkner) that you get the anthropological distance required to make this observation without feeling weird.

Sedaris is known as an excellent public speaker (cutting his teeth at National Public Radio), so it feels appropriate to mention his excellent reading at the Librairie Paragraphe Bookstore in Montreal as part of his ongoing book tour. The hour-long reading added fantastic value to the book. In addition to a deadpan and adorably maudlin reading from the book’s titular tale (the sad story of sciuridae struggling to make dinner conversation and understand jazz), he read from a story excised from the final book on grounds of taste. It is called “The Shit- and Vomit-eating Flies” and depicts a conversation between a pair of foodie bluebottles: which parts of town have the most delicious vomit and feces. It’s a shame the story was cut from the book, but it made a very meaty bonus for those who made it to the event. He also read from a condensed work in progress: highlights from his personal tour diary, which will presumably be different depending on which leg of the tour you catch him. Continuing with the animal theme, one of these tour diary excerpts concerns a girl whose t-shirt had allegedly been “painted by a dolphin with scoliosis.” How and why a dolphin could be cajoled into painting a t-shirt boggles the mind. The detail of the scoliosis, much like the observational details salt-and-peppered throughout Squirrel Seeks Chipunk, can only further baffle and delight.

Side Street Review article. December 2010.

The December issue of Side Street Review features a lengthy interview I did with philosopher Joseph Heath on the idea that rebellion against Capitalism actually helps the system. It makes for chilling reading but hopefully ends on a positive note.

The Great Escape: Tom Hodgkinson (with Neil Scott)

This is a very short excerpt from our on-stage conversation with Tom Hodgkinson.

The interview can be read in its entirety in Issue Three of New Escapologist.

Tom: I’ll go back to when I started the Idler magazine, which was in 1993. The reason I started was because I left university and I was beginning a career. I had had one year working in a record shop called Rough Trade in London. I’d met a whole different crowd of people; these people were skateboarders. It impressed me as a very creative scene, full of autonomously functioning individuals. There were people running their own club nights and tprinting T-shirts and running fanzines and magazines and playing in bands and there were DJs. No one actually had any money, but no one seemed to have a job. And it was great to meet such people here, who were coming from a completely different and a less academic background, but who seemed to be much more free and more spirited and were grabbing their life with both hands — much more than I was — because I was sitting in the shop all day.

So that was one thing that began to open out: the fact there might be work outside of the conventional. I think I had the idea for the magazine a couple of years later, when I was working on the Sunday Mirror magazine. I had got the job kind of by accident — fifty pounds a day as a researcher for three days a week. I thought this would be good; I could do my own stuff at the same time. I found myself being made thoroughly miserable by the culture of the office, which was later well portrayed in The Office. I was too young and new to get involved in the politics, but there was something about these offices: the boss was made into a petty tyrant and we were humiliated daily and one day I’d be asked to, sort of, write a short article, which, itself, was actually rubbish, as it was a terrible magazine. One of the editors would come by and go “coffee run, coffee run, coffee run, Tom, Tom, coffee”. So, we had to go and get the editors their different kinds of coffees. I didn’t have any money. I couldn’t stand the commute every day.

I was always late; I was probably a very bad employee. And I was also very bored for long periods of the day. I had been bored at the shop, but it was a little different, because people came in and we were able to hang out. But if you started, sort of, chatting to your neighbor in this office, then the editor would tell you, “I want to see heads down, heads down,” and just enjoy, sort of, putting people down. It’s really very humiliating; I felt so depressed.

Neil: Okay, Rob. The latest issue of your magazine is about the practicalities of escape. I was wondering if you could tell us how you got to be producing this magazine and to be expressing these ideas and what you think are the practical ways that people here tonight can take to get to where they want to be.

Robert: Well, the practicalities edition is not actually released yet. The War Against Cliché Issues is on sale tonight. The practicalities one will be a little bit different, but, yeah, we can talk about that for a bit. I think, as Tom was saying, the 9-5 work system does not work. It doesn’t make anybody happy and it also fails in terms of production as well. I mean, do a lot of people here have officy kinds of jobs?

The audience responds with an unenthusiastic ‘Yeah’.

Robert: (Laughs). See, you cannot muster the energy to be enthusiastic – even ironically – at working in an office 9-5. The bottom line is: if you work in the office, probably about 80% of your time is spent doing not very much. So, even from the employer’s or the bureaucrat’s perspective, it’s probably a very inefficient system. It fails on both sides. It doesn’t make the worker happy, we don’t make enough money, we are not respected, and, frankly, it doesn’t work. We produce inferior products and inferior services that probably don’t really matter, especially if you work in something like marketing.

I worked as a librarian for a long time, but I ended up working in an office again. Librarianship is one of those careers that was, perhaps, a trade, once upon a time, but it is becoming kind of deskilled. They outsource a lot of the skilled work, so now librarians end up in offices, either at the back of an actual library or there is no physical library at all and they offer electronic services. And that’s basically where I ended up: it was somewhat dissatisfying, not because I fetishise books or the ideas of a library to a huge degree, but I just felt that the cornerstone principles of librarianship aren’t being met anymore.

So, to answer the question about the project’s history, it came about when I was reading two books simultaneously: one about the life of Houdini and also one about the rise of Bohemianism around the nineteenth and early twentieth century.

Buy New Escapologist Issue Three for the complete conversation (and other issues) here.

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For the advanced minimalist: Leo Babauta

Originally published at New Escapologist

Leo Babauta is the founder of the Zen Habits website and books and (more pertinently to this post) the website, Mnmlist. His sites have thousands of readers. I caught up with Leo by email and asked him a few questions for the advanced minimalist:

Q: After minimalism, do you find yourself treasuring the things still in your possession or do they weigh upon you as stubborn things that wouldn’t wash away?

Leo: I don’t think about them much. The things in my possessions are just things. They are there because I need them, not because I love them. I have a T-shirt because otherwise I’d be cold, not because it’s beautiful and gives me joy. Going outside and playing with my kids gives me joy. Minimalism is a way for me to let go of thinking about things so much.

Q: Do you feel that digital entities (mp3s, eBooks etc) constitute clutter in the same way that physical objects do? Should we try to save virtual real estate as well as physical space?

Leo: A few years ago I moved from organizing all my files into folders, to forgetting about them and using search to find what I need — this includes mp3s, documents, emails. Search eliminates the need to organize, though you can purge if you’re using up too much space.

More important than worrying about digital files is being aware of digital buying. If you buy things mindlessly because it’s easy — apps, music, movies, ebooks — that’s mindless consumerism. That’s something you should become aware of.

Q: I converted to minimalism as a personal preference but I find myself thinking more and more about the green benefits of reduction. How relevant is the environmental issue to you?

Leo: It’s at the heart of minimalism. Environmental problems have become so overpowering because we have let corporate consumerism become more important than how we treat each other, how we live with nature … than living in general. Minimalism is striking back against that. When you let go of corporate consumerism, you let go of the need to overconsume, to buy horrible amounts of things and waste so many natural resources.

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